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Arie was apparently thunderstruck when Emily broke up with him.He had, after all, made it so far, only to lose to Jef Holm.Click here to get those and more in the PEOPLE Babies newsletter." class="Js Enabled_Op(0) Js Enabled_Bg(n) Trsdu(.42s) Bgr(nr) Bgz(cv) Maw(100%)" itemprop="url" style="background-image:url(https://com/ny/api/res/1.2/HIopdb6Zn Bh_iotk MASqv Q--/YXBwa WQ9a Glna Gxhbm Rlcjtzb T0x O3c9ODAw/ src="https://com/g/images/spaceball.gif" data-reactid="20"/" class="Js Enabled_Op(0) Js Enabled_Bg(n) Trsdu(.42s) Bgr(nr) Bgz(cv) Maw(100%)" itemprop="url" style="background-image:url(https://com/ny/api/res/1.2/axs Cf Lot_JCk W4Lxg8SRf Q--/YXBwa WQ9a Glna Gxhbm Rlcjtzb T0x O3c9ODAw/ src="https://com/g/images/spaceball.gif" data-reactid="40"/tells PEOPLE that she was “in such a fog for a lot of” the time in raising Ricki following the tragedy — and that some of the pain even still persists live in fear that the bottom is going to fall out,” she says.“From what I’ve experienced, I’ve lived with that dark cloud over me, like, ‘When is something bad going to happen?He allegedly hoped that it would help to erase any doubts she might have had about his character. But she and Jef Holm went their separate ways after a few months. "I’ve been rooting for Arie to be the Bachelor since my season ended -- he’s a great guy." Uh-huh. Emily also says that it won't be "TV that is watched in my house." Of course, Emily Maynard is now a mother of four.Her youngest is just a couple of months old, so we imagine that she has her hands full.Emily Maynard Johnson is cherishing every moment as a wife and mother of four, but there was a time when she wasn’t sure she’d find her happily ever failed relationships: She was first engaged to Brad Womack on season 15 of After losing her boyfriend to a plane crash just before she found out she was pregnant at age 18, the reality TV alum experienced two failed relationships: She was first engaged to Brad Womack on season 15 of through another public breakup, and I gave in to the idea that maybe marriage and that life was not for me,” Maynard Johnson tells PEOPLE for this week’s issue, posing for a sweet photo spread with husband Tyler Johnson, their three sons Gatlin Avery, 6 weeks, Gibson Kyle, 15 months, and Jennings Tyler, 2, and the star’s 12-year-old daughter Ricki." data-reactid="13"“I think back to where I was five years ago, going through another public breakup, and I gave in to the idea that maybe marriage and that life was not for me,” Maynard Johnson tells PEOPLE for this week’s issue, posing for a sweet photo spread with husband Tyler Johnson, their three sons Gatlin Avery, 6 weeks, Gibson Kyle, 15 months, and Jennings Tyler, 2, and the star’s 12-year-old daughter was not the plan.

“Seriously though, as scared as I am to have 3 under 3, I’m so grateful God picked me to be the mommy to my kids and we can’t wait for number 4 to get here! “It’s silly, but going to a restaurant and saying, ‘Family of four’ is so exciting to me,” she says.“Forever I thought it was going to be just me and Ricki.” She added, “This pregnancy has been filled with lots of hot wings, ranch dressing, an emergency appendix surgery at six months, and swollen ankles all day every day but I wouldn’t change it for the world. —Seriously though, as scared as I am to have 3 under 3, I'm so grateful God picked me to be the mommy to my kids and we can't wait for number 4 to get here! My little tribe can’t wait to meet their new brother or sister (it’s a surprise! This pregnancy has been filled with lots of hot wings, ranch dressing, an emergency appendix surgery at 6 months, and swollen ankles all day every day but I wouldn't change it for the world. “[My daughter Ricki] will be out of the house and the babies will still be young.” RELATED VIDEO: WATCH: How is Tyler Johnson as a Father to Emily Maynard’s Daughter?

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